As a way to introduce the new records, I am writing blog posts going song by song to give you some insight into the writing, recording, production and story of each of the songs. Here is the next installment from Family Man.
Song By Song – You Can Count On Me
Before I launch into the story behind “You Can Count On Me”, I wanted to highlight the cover art for the Family Man record. The front cover is a water color painted by Elijah titled “Daddy And Me”. When he gave it to me, I knew it would be perfect for the record. But, I also knew I needed something for the back of the digipak. So, I asked him to paint a nature scene using similar colors to the “Daddy And Me'' painting. The next day he showed me the painting that is the back cover. It’s a very sentimental aspect of a completely sentimental project for me, and I wanted to make sure I gave Elijah his proper credit.
The premise of Family Man was to professionally record and produce the songs I had written for my sons. I wanted them to have these songs until the end of time in a form they could be proud of and cherish. I wrote these songs out of the heart of a father who tries very hard to be the best father I can be. But, I am a sinner which means I get it wrong more than I probably get it right. I will be honest and say that it weighs on me. I do have to remind myself that I am not all that will determine how my sons turn out. They will bear much responsibility for their lives and the choices they will make. But a father plays a huge role in the life of his children, and I take that responsibility seriously, even if I fall short of the lofty goals I have set for my parenting.
“You Can Count On Me” certainly fleshes out some of the things I want my boys to remember about who they are and my love for them. Like “2+1=3”, I wrote this song on our family vacation in Maine. The bridge of this song has always been what I am most proud of. Two of my favorite songs from fathers to their sons are “You’ll Find Your Way” by Andrew Peterson and “I’ll Go With You” by Eric Peters. I definitely draw from their work in the bridge. The lines are the most heartfelt I could write to my sons.
As I reflected on my own childhood, my teenage years, and my college years, I was overrun with heartache and regret. I don’t know if it’s getting older or maturing or what, but I recall situations and I shudder at how I acted or behaved. I bought into the lie that I had to put someone else down to elevate myself. I harbor a lot of grief as I think about those people and all the hurt I have caused. At the time, you chalk it up to trying to fit in and trying to be liked, particularly by those who “matter”. But all I was really doing was masking my own weakness and insecurity. What a hollow way to live.
But this is a road that I think every human being has to walk. I wish it weren’t so in so many ways. I wish I could sit Elijah and Samuel down and tell them about every trap that’s not worth falling into to save them the trouble. But I can’t do that. And I don’t think it’s really growing up unless you walk through those things. And I don’t think finding redemption in the arms of Jesus happens either without walking that road.
Andrew Peterson asks this question in “Don’t You Want To Thank Someone” from his Light For The Lost Boy record:
Maybe it's a better thing
A better thing
To be more than merely innocent
But to be broken then redeemed by love
And I guess that’s what I’m driving at and what I want my boys to hear as they grow up:
I wish I could protect you from the broken hearts,
And the moment you know that you’re not good enough,
But there are so many roads you have to walk on your own,
As you grow up,
When I think about redemption, salvation through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, I ask the same question Andrew Peterson asks in his song. Why not redeem us instantly? Why not whisk us away to Paradise? Why not usher in the Kingdom and spare us the trouble? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I think Andrew is getting at something in those lines. Perhaps it is a much better thing to be broken and fallen and then redeemed by an unwavering and overpowering love.
The same with growing up. Why not tell me the lessons so I don’t have to learn them through painful experience? I don’t know the answer to that one either. But maybe it is better to live, to hurt, to be humbled, to be broken, to experience pain and hardship, and to come out the other side a better person.
So, I want tell the boys in this song that I love you, more than you’ll ever know. I can’t protect you from all the hurt you will experience in this world, but I will do all I can to help you walk through it, whatever you need.
We tracked all of the percussion and electric bass tracks for both records over a two-day period in September 2020, shortly after the Kickstarter project was successfully backed. When we got to “You Can Count On Me”, Larry asked me what kind of a feel I was looking for from the drums. I described what I thought I wanted in what was probably a rudimentary way of putting it. But, Larry, as always, was gracious with me. John Ray then chimed in with the notes he had for the bass track. When we workshopped the songs a couple of months earlier, John had simply wrote on his chart “Paul McCartney”. Listen to the song and hone in on the bass track – I think you’ll hear what he was going for. Michael Kinchen played the Wurlitzer on this tune and Kevin added some nice electric guitar tracks. I love the feel of this tune and how it evolved as we tracked each part.
Check back in a few days as I continue to go song by song with “Elijah’s Song (That’s Your Name)”.
