It’s a milestone, I suppose. A measuring stick of one’s life. For whatever reason, reaching the age of 40 carries a certain amount of significance in society. That burden and feeling is somewhat self-perpetuating, passing on from generation to generation. I remember my parents and their friends making a big deal about their 40th birthdays. So, I guess their children should do the same.
I bought myself a Boston Scally hat for my 40th birthday. I told Mary it was my mid-life crisis. I’ve always had an old soul - now I have the hat to prove it. It also helps to cover up the continuously enlarging bald spot on the back half of my head.
With the looming holiday and the crossing of this threshold into my 40’s, I had begun taking stock of the first half of my life. Then my wife sprung a surprise on me that she must have been concocting for quite some time. Birthday cards began arriving in the mail, some from college friends I haven’t seen in many years. They were filled with wonderful notes and caused the “taking stock” to pick up steam.
As I arrive at 40, I must say that I am incredibly grateful for the good fortune I have been given over all of these many years. To start, I was born to Wanda and Jimmy Newcomb in Danville, VA. I was the brother of Jamie Newcomb and the grandson of D.O. and Leona Chandler and James and Janice Newcomb. I don’t believe we were rich. But, I never wanted for anything at all, and I had what I wanted more often than not. I was loved more than my words could ever describe. It was a wonderful way to grow up. I had some of the most amazing friends and certainly an amazing family.
I don’t know how they did it, but my parents paid for me and my brother to go to college - an incredible gift to setup their children for a successful transition into adulthood. At Virginia Tech, my good friend Leigh dragged me to the BSU at the corner of Washington and Kent. It was right across the street from my dorm, so I really had no excuse not to go. There I was met with the most loving and engaging community of people who didn’t just believe a set of theological ideas – they actually lived it. I earned a degree in Civil Engineering in 4 years at Virginia Tech. But the BSU (now BCM) was what the Lord used to transform my life and my heart for Jesus, the Gospel, and what it should do to the way you think and act. It was also where I met Mary Vodicka.
To this day, I have no clue why she agreed to go on a date with me, much less marry me. I was in love the first time I saw her. I think I’m more in love now that I was that night in the BSU. But, marriage is hard. One sinful person living and being in constant relationship and fellowship with another sinful person is really hard stuff. But I am so blessed to get to swim those waters with someone as beautiful inside and out as Mary.
Then came Elijah and Samuel. As if marriage isn’t hard enough, throw in parenting, and it’s out of control. We have two very sweet boys. As Elijah is 7 rolling ever closer to 8, I worry and am afraid of what lies ahead. I don’t recognize the world around me from the one I grew up in, and most of that is not in ways that I think are good or right. And I strongly doubt that they have a dad as good as I had. So, I pray that God will continue to show me great grace and fortune in my parenting. And that He will extend the great grace and fortune He’s given to me to my sons.
I got my first guitar on Christmas Day on my 14th birthday. The music over all these years – tears come to my eyes thinking of all of the memories and experiences. The bands, the friends, the concerts, the shows, the open mic nights – so much good and joy. The last year and a half making Home and Family Man with Larry, John, Kevin, Michael, Michael and Tim has been such an amazing gift. How was I so fortunate to have met these incredible musicians and then have them want to play and be a part of my songs?!
There is a lot said these days decrying the notion of work. I get it in a sense. But, I look at my career as a civil engineer for the last 17+ years the same way I look at every other aspect of my life – awe for the good fortune and grace God has shown me. Every step along the way, every open door, every opportunity, every promotion, every team - all a great gift. I firmly believe you have to do something with what God affords you. He gives you talents – you have to exercise them. He gives you opportunities – you have to make the most of them, pursue and push for the opportunity to bear fruit. But I also concede that He has given me more than my fair share of open doors and opportunities. I have certainly worked to take advantage of them to bear good fruit, but none of it would have been possible without His good gifts and grace.
I have no idea why I was blessed with it all. I can’t explain why the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous. I have experienced loss. I have experienced disappointment. I have experienced trials, broken relationships, difficult conversations and heartbreaking outcomes. But I have also experienced great joy, laughter, friendships, adventures and love.
What I can say is what all of those experiences have taught me. If you are blessed and fortunate, you should be the first to be generous, to give to others, to be kind and compassionate, and to help those who need it. Believe when I tell you that I am a sinner - a very flawed person who is selfish, impatient, short-tempered, who often does not love the way I should. But I hope that I have found a way to love and be a blessing to others over the last 40 years. And I pray that Jesus will continue to redeem every part of me for as many days as I have left on this earth.
Here’s to 40 years, and to whatever lies ahead. Merry Christmas, and all the best in the New Year!
